How much time should be paid to communicate with the child?
"How much time is given to the child?" - This question you may have encountered in the questionnaires for the parents. "We need to be more friendly" - written in numerous pedagogical articles and speak in public lectures. However, if you ask a child,how much time he spent Sunday with mom or dad, it is unlikely to be accurate. But he tells in detail what he was doing with his parents and whether he is pleased: "We went to an amusement park, and then went into a cafe, eating ice cream. I loved flying with my dad on the plane ..." The child is not important amount spent time with him,and how it is spent. Sometimes ten minutes spent in conversation heart (in the psychological sense of the word) for the child mean much more than a full day spent with you together, but when you're holding back a yawn, just present in his plays.
Part-time preschool and primary school children, playing with yourself, with friends,kindergarten or school, doing painting, designing, reading, etc. But besides all this it needs to communicate with you.
Child up to three years is feeling your presence in the space where he resides. Sometimes it seems that the child is still busier than a parent, if only he was around. In this period of life adultstanding next to a child, it creates the necessary sense of security.
Older child must not only close presence of an adult, and sincere communication with the parent as a person with a personality. He wants to experience a sense of community with them, belonging to the family, every effort is made to be respected, considered him,with his opinion. And especially important here, as it is done with a son or daughter time. Not how much time you spent with the child, and what to do together is crucial.
Let us explain this with an example, that each of you can see quite often.
Mother and child in the morning go to kindergarten. Mother says something, the child responds,he asks about something. Only ten minutes, and both seem to be well spent time, a sense of community that is so want to repeat. Another couple - mother drags her hand reluctantly coming baby. Both come in silence. Mother was already mentally at work, baby - so unattractive in kindergarten. They do not talk, they just close."Life is so stressful that I do not have time to deal with a child" - often parents say. Allow me not to believe. In essence, any special time for this is not necessary. A lot of those periods of time when you get home, Saturday and Sunday. In this case it is not necessary that every free minute than you-is engaged with the child, playing, told. Do not need to suffer the thought that you give him enough time.
Play, walk with your child when you are really tuned to communicate with him. Time spent with your son or daughter only parenthood, brings little joy to both.
Sometimes parents can be difficult to figure outtalk about with child do him. If you give it the attention sincerely, then do not worry, for you he will solve this problem. What-what, and fudge, originality in this matter does not take children. Do not interfere with them, and you'll quickly find yourself embroiled in a variety of activities.Start by talking with both the most familiar forms of communication adults. Children are generally very interested in their parents, they want to know what you do when you do not spend time with them, you are talking about with others, where work and the difficulties faced. If you listen and respond, you just dive into the sea of questions about what's inside your car, Where babies come from, why the cold winter and hot in summer. You probably also will be wondering what makes a child in kindergarten, in school, with whom he was friendly, he cares about what he thinks about life. I am sure that you will learn a lot about each other, feel that they have become closer to each other. Most kids love to talk business. You gathered than-what to do with your child. What and how? There are several options.
1. You offer your child connect to your chosen occupation. For example, take it with you on fishing, camping, in the workshop, invite to join the apartment cleaning, cooking, etc. Participating in your affairs, child learns and adult activities.If you managed to find a common language with the child, coordinate their actions, even the hard work would be for him in a heartbeat. The main thing - do not crush your child's authority, experience, "wisdom", leave him a place for the initiative, creativity, opportunities to make mistakes. The latter is particularly important, as reproaches, if he does something wrong,how to immediately take away the desire to have a child together with you. Of course, it's hard to resist the mentoring. However, you need not worry about their child's imperfections. First, it grows and develops, learns from his mistakes himself. Secondly, if he would be perfect, he would not be your child (something you probablynot consider yourself to perfection?).
2. You with your child decide what to do together to come up with an interesting exercise. The main thing to
selection was equally advantageous for both, otherwise one of you will feel like doing something for someone else, and although intended to personally get pleasure from the selected class.Decision making should be democratic from beginning to end. It's a tough business! Children, and you, too, must learn to find a common solution without compromising anybody. Dining joint cases can be varied from a boat trip to play in the home playing puppet theater.For many families the choice of general classes becomes a true revelation, reference, how to communicate, how to spend time together. I think that, say, a weekly family advice on what to do on Sunday, improves the lives of families in general.
3. You connect to your child's activity. For example, assume the role of a child playing partner. In thiscase you are subject to it, and the logic of the game itself. At the time you are not a leader, authority, parent and equal participant in the game.
If the first two options, we often met in family life, the third did not say. Until recently, children's play generally regarded as nonsense, it paid little attention as parents,and teachers: "It's child's play, and let them deal with it." Only in the middle of the XX century, psychologists began studying the game and consider it as an important factor in the mental development of the child. Now we know that playing in the lives of children is as important as in adult life - communication, creative work. Game -is a children's way of thinking the world around him, turn into the adult world and has all the rights to be respected. Play with your child - it does not mean to be a little, amused. Besides the pleasure of playing together you clearly understand what your son or daughter that they care about.
So, imagine that you decide to try. Got the role chauffeur're taking children - daughter dolls - to kindergarten or to the zoo, then go to visit, traveling on the river. "Inside" is child's play seems much more serious, deeper. In her real life drama unfold, solved the problem. She will find a deeper meaning, which we often do not suspect. Therefore, a joint game -it is one of the best ways to learn what child care how he perceives the surrounding people, including you.
Try at least so. Play in the family. Take the role of the child himself, and let the child is the father or mother. Although the child's fantasy is extremely rich, then what he usually plays, a little beyond the scope of the experience gained in the family.Listen, that he (she) says, as a parent, how to deal with "baby" - affectionately angry or rude intrusive - and you will see yourself in the mirror of his heir. I am sure many will surprise you and make you wonder. In addition to this personal benefit in the game, you have a great opportunity to show your child that you feel yourself, communicating with them,What excites you about his behavior. You can even correct the behavior of some of the child during such a game. For example, something in his behavior you have no patience. Say, in the morning when you need to hurry, though you agreed in advance how you will act, child neglect this and starts to act up on different occasions.Evening play as his behavior can be figuratively, let him in the role of a father or mother will try to cope with this situation may be, the child in the game, in the quiescent state otherwise look at their behavior and understand why parents do not cost too polite to him under such circumstances .However, excessively carried away like "examples of" psychological correction should not - you can become a child unattractive partner. The first game - it is a mutual pleasure. And do not forget that the game leader and authority - a child, and you - a shy student. Do not overstep the bounds of their authority.All three communication with the child to have merit. Each of them is desirable or even necessary for full communion. When you turn in your child's activities, he joins the world of adults, feels its significance, learns to adhere to certain standards of behavior, not because you are so tell them to, but becausethat such are the demands of the activity itself. In another embodiment, when you decide together what to do, the child learns to democratic discourse: methods, how to choose what everyone, not one like him. He learns to communicate on an equal footing. In the third case, when you are involved in children's activities, you are learning to understand the childand the child of the joint games, where he plays the first violin, gets the feeling of self-worth, self-esteem and increases its a sense of partnership with parents.
And the main thing. In all cases, if the child gets the pleasure of sharing communication, he feels that you love him, and he begins to feel you warmer feelings.
 |
| How much time is given to the child? |
Part-time preschool and primary school children, playing with yourself, with friends,kindergarten or school, doing painting, designing, reading, etc. But besides all this it needs to communicate with you.
Child up to three years is feeling your presence in the space where he resides. Sometimes it seems that the child is still busier than a parent, if only he was around. In this period of life adultstanding next to a child, it creates the necessary sense of security.
Older child must not only close presence of an adult, and sincere communication with the parent as a person with a personality. He wants to experience a sense of community with them, belonging to the family, every effort is made to be respected, considered him,with his opinion. And especially important here, as it is done with a son or daughter time. Not how much time you spent with the child, and what to do together is crucial.
Let us explain this with an example, that each of you can see quite often.
Mother and child in the morning go to kindergarten. Mother says something, the child responds,he asks about something. Only ten minutes, and both seem to be well spent time, a sense of community that is so want to repeat. Another couple - mother drags her hand reluctantly coming baby. Both come in silence. Mother was already mentally at work, baby - so unattractive in kindergarten. They do not talk, they just close."Life is so stressful that I do not have time to deal with a child" - often parents say. Allow me not to believe. In essence, any special time for this is not necessary. A lot of those periods of time when you get home, Saturday and Sunday. In this case it is not necessary that every free minute than you-is engaged with the child, playing, told. Do not need to suffer the thought that you give him enough time.
Play, walk with your child when you are really tuned to communicate with him. Time spent with your son or daughter only parenthood, brings little joy to both.
Sometimes parents can be difficult to figure outtalk about with child do him. If you give it the attention sincerely, then do not worry, for you he will solve this problem. What-what, and fudge, originality in this matter does not take children. Do not interfere with them, and you'll quickly find yourself embroiled in a variety of activities.Start by talking with both the most familiar forms of communication adults. Children are generally very interested in their parents, they want to know what you do when you do not spend time with them, you are talking about with others, where work and the difficulties faced. If you listen and respond, you just dive into the sea of questions about what's inside your car, Where babies come from, why the cold winter and hot in summer. You probably also will be wondering what makes a child in kindergarten, in school, with whom he was friendly, he cares about what he thinks about life. I am sure that you will learn a lot about each other, feel that they have become closer to each other. Most kids love to talk business. You gathered than-what to do with your child. What and how? There are several options.
1. You offer your child connect to your chosen occupation. For example, take it with you on fishing, camping, in the workshop, invite to join the apartment cleaning, cooking, etc. Participating in your affairs, child learns and adult activities.If you managed to find a common language with the child, coordinate their actions, even the hard work would be for him in a heartbeat. The main thing - do not crush your child's authority, experience, "wisdom", leave him a place for the initiative, creativity, opportunities to make mistakes. The latter is particularly important, as reproaches, if he does something wrong,how to immediately take away the desire to have a child together with you. Of course, it's hard to resist the mentoring. However, you need not worry about their child's imperfections. First, it grows and develops, learns from his mistakes himself. Secondly, if he would be perfect, he would not be your child (something you probablynot consider yourself to perfection?).
2. You with your child decide what to do together to come up with an interesting exercise. The main thing to
selection was equally advantageous for both, otherwise one of you will feel like doing something for someone else, and although intended to personally get pleasure from the selected class.Decision making should be democratic from beginning to end. It's a tough business! Children, and you, too, must learn to find a common solution without compromising anybody. Dining joint cases can be varied from a boat trip to play in the home playing puppet theater.For many families the choice of general classes becomes a true revelation, reference, how to communicate, how to spend time together. I think that, say, a weekly family advice on what to do on Sunday, improves the lives of families in general.
 |
| How much time is given to the child? |
If the first two options, we often met in family life, the third did not say. Until recently, children's play generally regarded as nonsense, it paid little attention as parents,and teachers: "It's child's play, and let them deal with it." Only in the middle of the XX century, psychologists began studying the game and consider it as an important factor in the mental development of the child. Now we know that playing in the lives of children is as important as in adult life - communication, creative work. Game -is a children's way of thinking the world around him, turn into the adult world and has all the rights to be respected. Play with your child - it does not mean to be a little, amused. Besides the pleasure of playing together you clearly understand what your son or daughter that they care about.
So, imagine that you decide to try. Got the role chauffeur're taking children - daughter dolls - to kindergarten or to the zoo, then go to visit, traveling on the river. "Inside" is child's play seems much more serious, deeper. In her real life drama unfold, solved the problem. She will find a deeper meaning, which we often do not suspect. Therefore, a joint game -it is one of the best ways to learn what child care how he perceives the surrounding people, including you.
Try at least so. Play in the family. Take the role of the child himself, and let the child is the father or mother. Although the child's fantasy is extremely rich, then what he usually plays, a little beyond the scope of the experience gained in the family.Listen, that he (she) says, as a parent, how to deal with "baby" - affectionately angry or rude intrusive - and you will see yourself in the mirror of his heir. I am sure many will surprise you and make you wonder. In addition to this personal benefit in the game, you have a great opportunity to show your child that you feel yourself, communicating with them,What excites you about his behavior. You can even correct the behavior of some of the child during such a game. For example, something in his behavior you have no patience. Say, in the morning when you need to hurry, though you agreed in advance how you will act, child neglect this and starts to act up on different occasions.Evening play as his behavior can be figuratively, let him in the role of a father or mother will try to cope with this situation may be, the child in the game, in the quiescent state otherwise look at their behavior and understand why parents do not cost too polite to him under such circumstances .However, excessively carried away like "examples of" psychological correction should not - you can become a child unattractive partner. The first game - it is a mutual pleasure. And do not forget that the game leader and authority - a child, and you - a shy student. Do not overstep the bounds of their authority.All three communication with the child to have merit. Each of them is desirable or even necessary for full communion. When you turn in your child's activities, he joins the world of adults, feels its significance, learns to adhere to certain standards of behavior, not because you are so tell them to, but becausethat such are the demands of the activity itself. In another embodiment, when you decide together what to do, the child learns to democratic discourse: methods, how to choose what everyone, not one like him. He learns to communicate on an equal footing. In the third case, when you are involved in children's activities, you are learning to understand the childand the child of the joint games, where he plays the first violin, gets the feeling of self-worth, self-esteem and increases its a sense of partnership with parents.
And the main thing. In all cases, if the child gets the pleasure of sharing communication, he feels that you love him, and he begins to feel you warmer feelings.
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